Testimonio: De cómo la clase de Educación Física nos hizo chicas rebeldes

Educación Física en la secundaria representaba una especie de peligro cotidiano para mí. Tener una mala condición, no ser delgada y tener que llevar shorts eran razones suficientes para temer la hora de esa horrible asignatura.

Como si eso no fuera suficiente, también tenía que convivir con niñas delgadas que lucían esos desdichados shorts como si fuesen modelos adolescentes. Así como con niños mirando sus cuerpos, disfrutando de la vista y validando indirectamente estándares de belleza que yo jamás iba a alcanzar.

Por estas razones, la lógica de comparación y competencia entre mujeres hacía heridas profundas en mi escasa autoestima.  Para colmo, según dicen, nuestro profesor miraba a algunas compañeras de forma lasciva. Yo nunca lo vi, pero no lo dudo.

Educación física, una clase que se suponía tenía el objetivo de ayudar a mi salud, me hacía sentir de todo, menos saludable.

Otra maravilla relacionada con la “educación física” en mi secundaria, era que los profesores de esa asignatura organizaban competencias de atletismo, lo que seguramente se hacía con buenas intenciones. El problema era que, para la selección de les representantes de cada grupo, todes estábamos obligades a competir con nuestres compañeres aun cuando no aspiraráramos a ser seleccionades.

Así pues, pese a mi mala condición física, baja autoestima y el conocimiento de que todo mundo podría ver mis deficiencias evidenciadas en competencias que claramente iba a perder, yo también debía participar. A pesar de todo, sería injusto decir que no había nada bueno en esa clase: un ejemplo era el hecho de que al menos no estaba tomando Matemáticas. Pero lo más importante de todo era saber que mis amigas estaban conmigo.

Andy era menuda, tímida y tenía aspecto de niña más pequeña. Mientras que Mari era algo robusta y con un problema en su cadera que le dificultaba hacer varias actividades físicas. Desde luego, ni ellas ni yo éramos el tipo de niñas que lucían sus shorts como modelos adolescentes, así como tampoco un prodigio del deporte que destacara en la clase de Educación Física. Por lo que, según recuerdo, ninguna la disfrutaba demasiado, aunque ignoro si era tan doloroso para ellas como lo era para mí.

Una historia sobre niñas rebeldes

La anécdota comienza esa mañana en la que inevitablemente todes debíamos competir una y otra vez en las eliminatorias que tendrían como resultado la elección de representantes. Así que, por si se lo preguntaban, tuve que correr con mi inseguridad y dolor emocional a cuestas más de una vez.

Recuerdo que me sentía bastante avergonzada, acomplejada, triste y ridícula por perder ante todo el mundo en las primeras carreras. pero al mismo tiempo recuerdo haber tenido la esperanza de que ir quedando de última le pusiera un fin a esa pequeña tortura pronto. Entonces volteé a ver a Mary y a Andy, quienes (según recuerdo) tampoco estaban disfrutando la competencia, por lo que hicimos algo que en ese momento se sintió como una travesura. Ahora entiendo que fue un pacto. 

Cuando nos tocó correr juntas elegimos carriles contiguos y al oír el silbato corrimos, porque eso era lo que debíamos hacer. Sin embargo, nosotras habíamos decidido ajustar nuestros ritmos, así ninguna iba a ganar o a perder. Íbamos lento, muy lento, rezagándonos cada vez más, pero sin sentirnos mal porque llegaríamos juntas a la meta.

Lógicamente, al terminar la carrera las tres fuimos reprendidas e incluso el profesor nos acusó de habernos burlado de él (porque ya saben que los hombres creen que todo gira a su alrededor). No obstante, yo estaba aliviada, ya no me sentía avergonzada, acomplejada, ridícula. ni triste, y más importante aún, no me sentía sola. Me sentía bien.

Hace muy poco tiempo que me di cuenta de lo que hicimos ese día: ninguna de nosotras estaba siendo traviesa o irreverente, sino parte de una resistencia que en ese entonces yo no conocía, pero que necesitaba y construía a diario con ellas. Estábamos siendo sororas.

Nuestros cuerpos no podrían haber sido más diferentes, pero ajustamos nuestro ritmo porque decidimos que ninguna de las tres iba a quedarse atrás. Íbamos lento, más lento que todes les demás, pero juntas. Pienso que esa carrera define nuestra amistad, porque convertimos la competencia en acompañamiento, y doce años después siento que seguimos corriendo del mismo modo.

Tengo grabada está anécdota en el centro de mi corazón feminista porque para mí, significa un tipo de agencia que a veces siento que no tengo pero que está ahí.  Si no fuera por el acompañamiento de otras mujeres jamás habría podido darme cuenta, así que gracias a todas ellas.

Finalmente, si Mari y Andy están leyendo esto, quiero que sepan que las amo, mucho, siempre, y que es un placer hacer enojar machitos a su lado… pero sobre todo, correr, caminar, ajustar mi ritmo y crecer a su lado. Acompañémonos siempre entre nosotras y todas esas mujeres que también necesitan alguien junto a quien avanzar.

Oleaje

Colectiva Oleaje es un grupo por y para mujeres cuyo principal objetivo es generar espacios para discutir y compartir ideas y experiencias con el fin de generar estrategias para combatir las violencias de género que vivimos a diario.

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